As a wedding planner, one of the people I tend to see most involved with weddings (aside from the bride and groom) is the mother-of-the-bride. I have been fortunate enough that all of the mothers I have worked with have been absolutely wonderful–I truly mean it! But if you’ve been floating around any wedding message boards or talking to friends getting married, you are bound to hear stories of a mom or two causing some extra stress. Expecting my first child in January, it got me thinking–what makes a good mom (or even mother-in-law) during the wedding planning process? Keep reading to find out!
1. Understand that her taste rules.
I can see how things may get dicey if you are generous enough to be financially helping the couple with their big day. But as long as you have been clear on your budget and your daughter is respecting that, allow her to choose what she wants. Wedding details are an expression of who the bride and groom are, so only they know what is right for them. This is what makes weddings so unique and fun! If she outright asks for your opinion on something, just try to be mindful of this.
2. Do only what she asks and nothing more.
If you’re anything like me, the mention of a wedding gives you a sense of excitement and throws your head into planning mode. That’s great!…but planning the wedding isn’t your duty. The good news is, there will probably be tasks that your daughter will ask you to handle for one reason or another. Graciously accept those tasks but don’t overstep your boundaries. For example, don’t assume that because she asked you to order the cocktail napkins that she doesn’t already have a special cake cutting set picked out. And it is always a good idea to verify details with her before finalizing anything. If she wants you to run with something completely on your own, she’ll let you know.
3. Trust that she knows what she’s doing.
Remember that the new rule of weddings is that there really are no rules. Of course, there are traditions and basic etiquette, but a lot has probably changed since the weddings of your day. Try to keep an open mind with the choices she makes. I know I haven’t raised a child yet, but don’t you consider this whole wedding planning process a good “test” for your little one? Isn’t this what you’ve been raising her for the last couple of decades? Maybe not to plan a wedding per se, but think about her tasks at hand–organizing details, following a budget, compromising with soon-to-be family? If she hasn’t already, now is the time for her to start making her own choices and dealing with any consequences that may arise.
Regardless of anything, at the end of the day, you are still her mom. There may be times she is in the process of a complete meltdown and all she wants is an ear to listen. Other times, there may be a complete wedding crisis in her eyes and she needs the superhero she knows to jump in and work her magic. By following these tips, you are on your way to stress-free wedding planning–and who doesn’t want that?
If you and your daughter are still in need of a little extra wedding planning help, Delvaux Wedding & Event Planning would love to part of the big day! Visit our website http://www.DelvauxWeddings.com or contact us for more information Kristen@DelvauxWeddings.com.